![]() It removes hasty promises and forces you to find out what you really want, to listen to what your partner wants, and to talk honestly and, I hope, honestly. You’re right, it takes the sexy mood, the sexy sex sexiness out of the equation and that’s a great way to talk about things – sexual or otherwise. It does.īut what’s so bad about that? Having a formal discussion about limits, expectations, interests and needs is actually a really great idea, isn’t it? Assuming you don’t want to be surprised, have the mood interrupted, or experience the jarring ( and, frankly awkward) moment when a partner demands to be tied up with no prior discussion of being interested in that, contracts are an excellent way to calmly and rationally consider what you’re willing to do and have done to you during sex. To this, let me say four things right away: Yes. It makes the arrangement between individuals formal and professional, taking the spontaneous element out of sex. ![]() Many people are either grossed out or simply uncomfortable with the idea of contracts because it feels like you’re entering into something you can’t easily get out of. Now that Fifty Shades of Grey has exited the daily conversations about BDSM and our attention has moved on to other issues within the Kink community, it’s important to come back to the idea of contracts.
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